Patterns

As children, we develop patterns of relating to the people around us.

The motivation behind these patterns is always safety.  We do what we do, as children (and adults), to feel safe.  To children, the world is overwhelming, confusing, and scary.  To minimize the anxiety that life naturally produces, we control what we can.

We are smart, so we realize, if we cry, beg, or whine, we eventually get what we want.  Or, if we annoy those around us enough, we get attention.  Or, if we do what others desire, we get attention for pleasing.  Or whatever "it" is ... we instinctually develop methods of relating to ease our anxiety of the unknown.

We develop patterns, just as animals in the wild, that are repeatable and predictable.  Why?  Life is unpredictable, and to our young minds, we must order the natural chaos.

This becomes a problem as we mature, but do not also mature our thought and behavioral patterns.  As adults, we still crave feelings of safety in a chaotic world.

It takes a dedicated, focused and consistent effort to change the patterns that no longer serve us.    Even with a complete devotion to maturity, changing habitual patterns of relating is extremely challenging.  Why?  We still crave safety in an unpredictable world.

Change will not feel safe.  Changing patterns that have theoretically served us for decades will feel terrifying, or at least extremely odd.

Just for today, try focusing on new pattern of relating to yourself, to others, or to the world.  If it feels scary and odd - you know you are on the path of spiritual awakening.