Lost

I lost it.  I lost my patience.  I lost my tolerance.  I lost all acceptance of what is.

In fact, I tried super hard to change what is.  Guess what?  It did not work.

My stern angry voice did not invite the object of my frustration to change.

I wish it had worked, but it did not.  

I cannot pretend that I have it all together.  No, I just acted ugly in response to really ugly behaviors. Fortunately, I have learned to see myself as I am losing it.  I see my own nonsense.  I see myself doing that which I wish I would not do.  I see myself lost.

I am able to find my balance more quickly than before.  However, that does not make my stumble into the storm of emotions any easier to tolerate.  No, being lost is hard.

It is uncomfortable, unpleasant, and full of bubbling energy.  And, it is a fact of life.  We all have moments of big feelings.  We may act them out differently, but they are still there for all of us.

Being lost is part of the journey.  When it happens, we must offer love and compassion to ourselves.  We must make amends to those we hurt, and we must gracefully get back on our chosen path.

Getting lost is always part of finding our way.